In the underdeck chilldrippery of a sunken galleon, in its deepest bowels, two ancient pirates dwell in suspended misery: Saucy Jack and Bagfoot, their lives sustained by the ecosystem that has overtaken the bilge around them.

Thanks to the bile-green phosphorescent bladderwrack that thrives on the flooded deck, their air refuses to run out – and thanks to the eyeless, dark-adapted ghastlies that swim among those weeds, their food refuses to run out also. So the men have lived for decades.

Their madness is monumental.