Musicians spend a good deal of their careers applying to perform at music festivals. The application process differs for each festival. It is gruelling, frustrating and time-consuming. Rejection letter arrive like a huge kick in the guts.

But on this one gleaming, magical occasion, I was successful. I had been selected to perform at Classical:NEXT in Berlin in May 2024 and there was no way I was going to miss it.

Xani Kolac. Photo © Michelle Grace Hunder

Classical:NEXT is a coming together of the classical music industry – musicians, bookers, labels and professionals from all around the world – to discuss the future of classical and art music. In my application, I submitted my most recent work, which explores amplified violin, electronic effects, live looping, original compositions and improvisation.

In short, the kind of stuff that could pique the curiosity of those at Classical:NEXT specifically there for the “NEXT”.

Despite the jury selecting my work out of hundreds of other applications, doubt started to creep in. I have never identified as a classical musician. Am I in the right room?

Although I am a classically trained violinist and I enjoyed learning to play...