The Nobel Prize-winning economist and psychologist Daniel Kahneman once said he thought “that there is a task for society to reduce misery, not to increase happiness.” What a wonderful and honest advertising pitch that would be for a classical music concert – “Buy a Queensland Symphony Orchestra Misery-Reduction subscription package today! (We can’t guarantee that you’ll be happier after the concert; you’ll just be slightly less miserable.)” 

But Men Must Work and Women Must Weep, 1883 by Walter Langley. Photo courtesy of Birmingham Museums Trust/Unsplash

I have been touring my new show Guy Noble’s Very Serious Guide to Classical Music, and inevitably you have to do a little video for Facebook, looking all breathless and excited as you hawk your wares. “It’s going to be GREAT! You will have SUCH FUN.” 

What I really want to say is, “I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be bored; how about that?” I’ve even thought of offering a money-back guarantee in the event of boredom, but how would one operate such a scheme and how would you be able to measure the levels of boredom? Five percent ennui? 10 percent loss of concentration? 

I had a...