There is just way too much noise in the world these days, and much of it is in our homes with increasingly vocal appliances. If the fridge stays open a few seconds longer than it deems appropriate, it starts chirruping. The microwave and the air fryer sing a little duet together when they have finished cooking, and the washing machine bursts into song when the cycle is finished. All these appliances talk in different keys, so it is like listening to an early work by Pierre Boulez when they go off together.

Photo © RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Rather than random electronic tones, why not use some quotations from suitable musical works? The fridge could play Winter (or maybe Spring) from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons when the door is open for too long. I’m not sure what a microwave should sing, but it needs to be punchy and more modern, perhaps Short Ride in a Fast Machine by John Adams, except the rights would be expensive to secure.

For some reason, amidst this cacophony, my toaster is mute; it just does its thing, and the toast pops up without...