From the team that brought you Fewer Emergencies (Sydney Theatre Award nominee for Best Independent Production), Irregular Programming brings Martin Crimp back to the Old Fitz in 2026 with this psychological and satirical thriller that investigates the dark side of the property ladder.

The property market is booming. Young real estate agent Clair is helping Mike and Liz sell their London home. In an industry full of shady tactics and empty promises, the couple want to behave honourably. However, when a mysterious buyer appears, eager to settle and willing to pay cash, the price is right. But at what cost?

“An eerie topicality, yet its ingenious study of moneyed hypocrisy makes it truly timeless… a fiendishly clever play.” – The Guardian
“Martin Crimp’s play dares to explore an ordeal worse than divorce and more devastating than mortal illness: moving house.” – Thomas Hodgkinson