There are certain performers who I know would jump over hot coals to get on a stage. These people live for the limelight; they love being up there in front of other human beings. I am not one of these people. I look forward to a performance with the same enthusiasm I look forward to a colonoscopy – which is to say, not much.

“Why then Guy,” I hear you ask, “have you booked the City Recital Hall in Sydney on 24 July at 6.30pm to perform your show Guy Noble’s Very Serious Guide to Classical Music?” That is a very good question, and one I ask myself every day as the ticket sales edge slowly upwards.

Photo © Yan Krukau/Pexels

I suppose the answer is that I have no other skills to offer apart from frolicking on stage. I have pondered late-career pivots such as going into production with my bespoke Crackurrs™ (see May’s Soapbox) or perhaps setting up a puppet show in a little cart to tour the east coast, but it all seems such a bother and easier just to do the thing that I know how...