Do you remember that old Australian hit All My Friends Are Getting Married? I wish Skyhooks had been around long enough to write the follow-up, All My Friends Are Getting Operations. I suppose it’s only to be expected. As you get to a certain age, things start to fall apart – hips need replacing, cataracts and prostrates need removing, various bits of plumbing need updates. Over the last few months, I’ve visited some friends in hospital and been amazed by the high-tech, minimally invasive surgical procedures they have been through, only to be followed by a very low-tech, highly invasive recovery.

Photo © Dalila Dalprat/Pexels

A hospital ward is not a restful place; it’s a busy procession of nurses taking readings and giving medication set to the constant beeping of drips, drains, catheters and ECGs, all at different pitches and rhythms – a cacophony that could have come from the pen of Pierre Boulez. Surely the manufacturers could get together and decide on a key so at least everything beeps harmonically. One old, deaf patient was watching TV at such a high volume that it boomed down the corridor. No one...